Friday, January 2, 2009

New Year's Resolutions are for Wussies

New Years Resolution~
The things you promise yourself you will do over the year, but quit after the first 2 weeks.

I have NEVER been one for resolutions. You either phucking do it or you don't......why do you need Jan. 1 to make a new path for yourself??? Why can't you start it on May 16 at 3:30 in the afternoon??? No one ever goes through with them.

The one thing I am definately not looking forward to is the gym on Monday. For people like me, who have been exercising their ass off since 1992 religiously for 6, sometimes 7 days a week it pisses me off to go into the gym after the first of the year and not be able to find a machine to work on or someone has all of a sudden moved their fat unlimber arse into my.....MY MY MY MY yoga spot. The yoga spot that is MINE.....all mine. EVERYONE there knows it is mine....they don't phuck with my spot. I thought about putting caution tape around my spot before I left Monday night but the yogi just frowned at me.

I have decided to join in on this nonsense though and make some resolutions........although these are resolutions I know I can keep.

#1 Continue to eat and cook as much yummy food as possible without gaining a pound.
#2 Continue to yoga my ass off while balancing a cinnamon roll on each arse cheek while doing a shoulder stand (now if I could only take a bite of the roll in this pose my life would be complete).
#3 And last but not least, continue to display my Child's Holiday Artwork on My Bottles of Alcohol.

Yes, that IS a TeePee on some Tortuga Light Rum......fits quite nicely

And what paperbag turkey wouldn't be happy celebrating his Thanksgiving atop a bottle of Capn' Morgan Coconut Rum????

What??? It is all for cooking, give me a break, sheesh.
Don't you EVER say I don't have class honey, cuz I got class!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

the Jennings secede from the South said...

Oh, I don't like all the new people at the gym either... I know I should be happy that people are getting healthy but instead I'm annoyed that they are on my machine. Most drop off by mid-February.