Saturday, August 16, 2008

AN OPEN LETTER PENNED TO THE ASS PHUCK THAT INVADED MY FAMILIES SPACE AND STOLE OUR SHEEOT

Although I will continue to blog about food, I have had so much CRAPPOLA happen to me lately that I feel compelled to slightly change the forum.

Friday, Aug. 15, 2008
11:50 AM

I leave the house with my husband and 2 children and drive down the street to Old Mill Bakery for a sandwhich. Eat a pleasant meal.....engage in family banter.

1:00 pm
Drive home. Walk in through garage door to the kitchen area. My eyes are drawn to the floor as I see a piece of SHEARED OFF moulding. As my eyes focus....my brain is trying to process WHY IN THE HELL MOLDING IS ON MY FLOOR 18 FEET AWAY FROM MY FRENCH DOORS. Instead of looking at the doors (that are wide phucking open), I pick up the molding and look up to my ceiling wondering WHERE it came from. When I didn't see anything that matched up, I happen to look forward and see my french door wide open w/the dead bolt STILL engaged and all the molding sheared off. Again....brain is not processing properly. Thinking to self....why is my door broken......surely my CAT didn't do this. Why would someone kick my door in.....BIG PHUCKING DUH! So as I continue toward my door which is 18 feet from where I had sheared off molding I happen to look to my right and see a big empty space where my 42 inch PHUCKING PLASMA TV USED TO BE. OH, OK, now I get it.........so I proceed into my bedroom where there is a BIG EMPTY PHUCKING SPACE WHERE MY 37 INCH PLASMA TV USED TO BE. Glad they took the Blu-ray player also because the movies look FAN-PHUCKIN-TASTIC on them (hope you have netflix, it is such a good deal). SORRY YOU FORGOT THE REMOTE CONTROLS YOU DUMB ASS MUTHER PHUCKERS! Or perhaps you were a bit short on time since I was only gone, at most, 1 1/2 hours. Glad you were smart enough to hit the garage door and back in next to my husbands car and load up the items. I wouldn't have wanted you to walk out the front door and have to carry it all the way around to the driveway. I apologize that you had to jump my 10 ft privacy fence that had padlocked gates and walk through the woods and get your sneaks all dirty in order to get to my deck in order to kick in my french doors. Next time...give me a jingle, I will leave the door open for you. Surely to God, you needed these items MUCH MORE THAN I DID. Thank you for leaving my house neat....I was actually quite surprised by this. I apologize for all the dust under the tv's also........I hope it didn't aggravate your allergies, but I AM a mom of 2 young toddlers, dusting is not a priority. All I can say is, You are a couple of lucky dumb ass muther phuckers that I was not home when you decided to pull a rambo off my deck and into my house....I would have had one of two choices.....Shank your sorry ass juggler with my Sanko Cleaver or pull a Joe Horn on your ass. Either would have satisfied me just fine..........and no, it wouldn't have been over the tv's. I could care less about the tv's. It would have been because you invaded MY PHUCKING SPACE. MY SPACE. MY LOCKED PHUCKING SPACE. If you INVADE MY LOCKED OR OPEN PHUCKING SPACE AGAIN I WILL BE HAPPY TO BLOW YOUR ASS OFF MY DECK WITH A SHOTGUN WHICH I LEARNED TO SHOOT IN 6TH GRADE AT PIONEER RANCH AT TITUSVILLE HIGH SCHOOL. Thankfully I was not home and no one was harmed...Although, I got no problem shooting your ass if that was not the case.

The kicker is.....the same scum ass shit faces that are building our houses are employed by these cheap ass builders... and are the same scum ass dirt bag phuck heads that are ripping us off AFTER we move into these homes. These are the same low life dick-wads that are coming back to do touch up work AFTER we have moved in and can see where our security systems are, what kind they are, where are tv's are, the layouts of our houses etc. Pardon me for my husband and myself working our asses to the BONE for 20 years to afford this life. We did it the HARD WAY. So, I hope your lazy fat ass is sitting in a broken down recliner w/worn out fabric, drinking your Forty or your Crunk Juice, playing the playstation or possibly watching a porno in blu-ray on my 42 inch plasma while smoking a joint as a drug deal is going down on your street corner. I'm glad you can sleep at night because I certainly can and Karma is a bitch.

Unfortunately, Joe Horn is not my neighbor but a girl can dream.



This guy here also knows who you are and saw the whole deal go down and if and when he starts talking you better hope your ass is NOWHERE to be found. I got no problem shooting yer ass and dragging you back into my house for a 2nd round.

And if you have been living in a box and DON'T know who Joe Horn is.....please feel free to click on the left hand side top you tube video......you won't be sorry.

A couple more side notes IF you are still reading: Brinks guy says to me "Little Rock is 3rd in crime in the Nation and 1st In break-in's in the Nation".

Me to Brinks guy: "So where do these tv's go?? Pawn shop??? Because tomorrow is Saturday and my sorry ass is prepared to visit every pawn shop in the city to get my tv's back". Brink's guy "No, they get sold on the street for $200, they can trace them in a pawn shop". Me, "So where does one go to buy my tv on the street. I have no problem trolling for my own tv." I have no problem buying my own tv back for $300 when I have to go to Best Buy and drop $1500 for it. I was unfortunately talked out of this option.

AND.....even though this major event happened on Friday it didn't trump the best news of ALL. I got an all clear in the mail Friday that my yearly pap was all clear, my mammo was all clear AND my cholesterol dropped 29 pts. So my cancer free va-j-j and lump free boobs and artery clogging free arteries TRUMP any jack-ass stealing my possessions. I have my health and that is WAY better than any phucking tv.

I hope y'all got as much enjoyment reading this post as I did writing it!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

This Was A Post I Started Back On 08/05/08

I am making a brief appearance......git yer fill while you can. I just don't have time for this sheeeot. Although, I do enjoy it. It is just so time consuming. The sweat, the tears, the agony of defeat, the salsa my 1 1/2 year old threw all over the floor whilst trying to compose my thoughts and pictures.....it is pure torture.

Arrriba Arrriba (rolled "R" ALWAYS)
Let's start off with Mexican Paletas
Mexican Paletas and then you have to type in "Paletas" in the "Recipe" search engine.

WHAT IS A PALETA YOU ASK?
~Per Wiki~ A paleta is a Latin American ice pop usually made from fresh fruit. The name comes from palo, or "stick," and the diminutive ending -eta, referencing the little flat stick frozen into each item; the stores, carts, and kiosks, or as we call them at home "roach coaches" where they are sold are known as paleterĂ­as, and the sellers are called paleteros.


I started off with Strawberry Basil Paletas


Ended up with Banana Paletas


He looks a bit disturbed but he really isn't


Evil Salsa Thrower Banana Paleta Eater



Cacao Nibs ( a must in the pantry )
are~ roasted cacao beans, separated from their husks and broken into small bits. Sprinkle on ice cream, add to cookies, or use in place of nuts in sweet and savory foods. Some chocolate lovers have been known to snack on nibs alone. I purrrrsonally don't know any chocolate lovers (sha right) so I can't attest to the last statement.

I, however, used them in a Smoky Cacao Nibs Rub courtesy of
Sticky,Gooey, Creamy, Chewy Git your recipe there.

I used my rub on boneless center cut pork chops and grilled them off. She used hers on bloody meaty juicy rib-eyes. Choose your rotting flesh source of choice and go with it. You WON'T be sorry.



It has been sooooo long I don't even remember what these were.............


Oh wait, it is coming to me...............uh, I believe these were peanut butter oatmeal cookies w/crisco. I don't think I have ever used crisco in a baking recipe before but these cookies were OUTFRICKINGSTANDING. I used rrrrolled oats (not quick or instant) and Peanut Butter & Co's White Chocolate Wonderful PB and then Ghirardhelli White Chocolate Chips. These gave permanent wood until they were gone as the hubby loves white chocolate (even though white chocolate is not really chocolate but that is another argument for another time).



This was a Zuchini Vichyssoise courtesy of AGAIN, Sticky, Gooey, Creamy, Chewy Git yer recipe there.

Git your recipe there. Then some Williams Sonoma Croissant dough that I stufft w/black forest ham and swiss cheese and baked off.


I'm outta here L-O-S-E-R...........................................I gotta go and scrub the mask off my face, I was multi-tasking.

*Side Note.....if you have not been to Etsy you need to visit. Use the drop down box and go to Sellers:usernames and type in valleybeadglassart .Not only does she have some great handcrafted jewelry and stained glass on there but there are loads of great items for sale ALL handcrafted by artisans. I am in love with this site. I bought earings and necklace off of valleybeadglassart. I love them!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Hi, My Name Is Stacey and I Am A Food Addict

They always say the first road to recovery is admitting you have a problem.......well, today is the day I dread. Today is the day I go through all my food magazines and rip out the pages I have earmarked and then throw the rest of the mag away. Tomorrow is special garbage pick up. UGH!. I love my magazines and could look at them over and over until my retinas burn out and my index finger bleeds. But it is out w/the old to make room for the new.

Rachael Ray

Bon Appetit

Cooking Light

Cooks Illustrated

Donna Hay

Martha Stewart

Fine Cooking

Food & Wine

Gourmet

And my newest baby~

La Cucina Italiana

I really hope I can get all this ripping and sorting of recipes done before the garbage man comes tomorrow. Before I know it, the fall issues will be arriving.

I know I have been MIA lately, but I just have not felt like blogging. I haven't felt like thinking or processing thoughts. I personally hate summer time and get "BLAH" during the summer. My creative juices start flowing again usually in August in anticipation of Fall coming, which is my absolute favorite time of the year. Perhaps a burning pile of autumn leaves will ignite a fire under my ass and reinspire me to start blogging regularly come this Fall.


*Funny side note~ My ooompa loompa was so used to watching me lick my index finger as I went through my cooking mags that he now licks his index finger regularly when turning pages. He is 4.