Saturday, March 29, 2008

CHEESECAKE Dulce de Leche

Cheesecake=A dessert pie with filling made from soft cheese such as ricotta, Philadelphia or farmer's cheese. Commonly lemon or vanilla flavored, baked without top crust and often topped with fruit. (Technically a pie, not a cake, since it is unleavened and contains little or no flour)

Cheesecake=A genre of glamour photography and poster art made popular in wartime pin-ups of the 1940's, often featuring modest poses by movie starlets displaying lots of leg but little explicit nudity. So called because of the resemblance of a stocking-clad female thigh to the layers of a cheesecake dessert

Cheesecake=(Hence) Any pictures, modeling, posing or shooting for glamour photography or softcore porn.

Cheesecake=Anything that is soft, sweet and enjoyable.
Okay, Baby-- show me a little cheesecake

Cheesecake=A photography artform which depicts a scantily clad young woman, usually a bit on the 'meaty' side, in sexy poses for pinup purposes.
Cheesecake art has been around for quite some time.

Cheesecake=a secret organization of radiohead related compilations. extremely secretive. very hard to find. only an elite few are aloud in. is sometimes used as an inside joke between one cheesecaker and the other.
"I love cheesecake!"
"really me too!"
"you know what im talkin about?"
"yeah, them boys!"

Cheesecake=The female equivalent of a beefcake

Cheesecake=A freakin' tasty dessert. I could go for one right now...
Damn, that was one freakin' tasty cheesecake!


*This was in Rachael Ray's magazine....the only addition I did differently was I used 1/3 fat cream cheese and I put orange zest all over the top of mine. See the recipe here:

Friday, March 28, 2008

Milk Candy d.b.a. Dulce de Leche

Here is what your sweetened condensed milk should look like after a 3 hour simmer. Yes, caramel heaven.......This is a very easy process and produces a high quality product. The only store bought dulce de leche I have purchased is through Williams Sonoma and it costs 18 smackers for the jar. Now I don't know about you, but I can make a whole hell of a lot more on my own for that price. Don't go out and buy any of that smuckers bullsh*t.....that is not dulce de leche. It is flavored and dyed chemicals in a plastic container. It is not thick. Your dulce should be thick and spreadible. I make a killer homemade ice cream w/this stuff. You can also refrigerate it for a few days until you are ready to use it......out of the can of course and you can also freeze it in a ziploc container....I have done so. So saddle up your deepest widest pan and plop in a couple of sweetened condensed milks and simmer away....use some and freeze some. You won't be sorry. Hopefully I will remember to take pics of the cheesecake when I am done.

Dislcaimer: No eyes or diks were hurt during the filming of this blog.

Always remember, if at anytime someone wants one of my recipes just email me. I have 2 small kids and only have time to type the basic blog. I am not going to take the time to post recipes unless someone actually wants it.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Oooh La-La, Milk Candy Cheesecake

Dulce de leche in Spanish or doce de leite in Portuguese ("milk candy"), is a milk-based syrup. Found as both a sauce and a caramel-like candy, it is popular across Latin America. It is prepared by slowly heating sweetened milk to create a product similar in taste to caramel.

I have always made my own Dulce de Leche. It is quite simple. Take cans of sweetened condensed milk, tear off paper, submerse in water, bring up to a simmer and simmer for 3 hours. I find this process works the best. I have tried others and was not impressed. I know what everyone says "Don't do that the can will explode".....well, my can has never exploded and hopefully I am not jinxing myself by writing this. I have always thought that the cans that exploded on other Forons (food morons) is because they took to boiling the hell out of the can instead of keeping it at a minimal me this is all you need, you don't have to beat it like a red headed step-child. I know, I know, just like mom used to say "It is all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye with a dik, er, I mean stick, yeah, I think it is stick"....I always mess that one up. Anyway, Me and my milk have hunkered down for a long simmer tonight and hopefully we will be producing a Dulce de Leche cheesecake this weekend at some point. Wish Me Luck!

It is going to be a long night.......pull up a chair and have an espresso brownie.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Mmmm Good or Weird Food Fetish????

I purrrsonally did not think there was anyway to ghetto-ize Nutella but our flatlander friends from Ohio have done so. If you are Italian you may want to cover your eyes during this posting. At first I was concerned, skeptical, a little nauseated. How could this be??? How could someone violate an oreo in this manner. I almost felt as though I was watching a snuff film.....I felt dirty and disgusted. It was a train wreck situation where you want to turn away but you can't help but look or eat in this situation. Yes, I am talking about dunking oreo's IN nutella. I apologize for this post.....I realize this is an uncommon siutation. I mean oreo's are not meant to be phucked with in any shape or form. The only allowable anhilation for an oreo is the swirl, lik and dunk. SWIRL, LIK, DUNK PEOPLE!!!! Swirl off the chocolatey lid, lick the creamy white center and then dunk in milk. There is NO OTHER WAY......or is there??? My dude, Joey, violated an oreo right in front of my eyes......he didn't swirl or lik but he dunked......oh my he dunked....he dunked into a jar of nutella and proceeded to stick the whole oreo in his mouth like he was consuming a piece of sushi. I was horrified....but intrigued at the same time. I felt all squishy inside but at the same time I knew this was SO WRONG. After all the jeering and prodding, I gave in like a prisoner after chinese water torture and munched a nutella oreo. I won't say I loved it, but it was tasty. I will file it under 11:30 am pantry raid desperation. I still think SWIRL, LIK, DUNK IS THE ONLY WAY TO EAT AN OREO. Nice try Joey!

Nutella Addendum:VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL….you have to put the Oreo in “Nutella tongue side down” and push the Nutella forward to cover the entire bottom of the Oreo” before eating!

Monday, March 24, 2008

More to Come............

Okay, so it WAS a fun filled food week w/friends. I have some pictures but plenty to blog about. It will be coming in spurts over the next may amuse you, make you belly laugh, cry, want to kick your dog, have disgust or disdain for the blogger, or perhaps even divorce your spouse but whatever emotions my writings may spur, may the Life, Liberty and Pursuit for Ho Ho's never leave your sight and may all your Marshmallow Peeps be Stale!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Driver Blames Speeding on Poorly Dunked Oreo

If I didn't know better I would have thought this was my husband..................

He lost control of his BMW while fishing out cookie he lost in a cup of milk

SALISBURY, Conn. - Police say a man's excuse for speeding through a small Connecticut town takes the cake, or at least the cookie.

A state trooper who stopped the 1993 BMW last fall says its driver, 28-year-old Justin Vonkummer of Millerton, N.Y., blamed his driving problems on an errant Oreo.

Vonkummer told the trooper that an Oreo had slipped out of his hand as he dunked it in a cup of milk, and that he was trying to fish it out when he lost control of his car.

Prosecutors learned in court last week that a clerk had mistakenly noted in court records that Vonkummer had been charged with driving under the influence, rather than speeding and driving with a suspended license.

~per msnbc world news