I Am A Marxine

This was forwarded to me from my Aunt Mary Lou. I in NO WAY take credit for this but thought it was hysterical. Since it deals w/the very source of what I talk about I had to post it.

*Martha's Way* Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
*Maxine's Way * Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

*Martha's Way*To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
*Maxine's Way*Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

*Martha's Way*When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
*Maxine's Way*Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

*Martha's Way*If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
*Maxine's Way*If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

*Martha's Way*Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
*Maxine's Way*Celery? Never heard of it!

*Martha's Way*Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
*Maxine's Way*The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

*Martha's Way*Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
*Maxine's Way*Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

*Martha's Way*If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
*Maxine's Way*Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

*Martha's Way*Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
*Maxine's Way*Leftover wine??????????? HELLLLLOOOOO !!!!!!!

WTF

And what is up with this???? People that call themselves vegetarians but still eat chicken or seafood. I guess if a shrimp doesn't scream it doesn't count???? Do you eat 5 shrimps or 5 shrimp....I guess it is the same a 1 deer or 25 deer or 1 fish or 100 fish. I don't know about you but I am bucking the system and I next time I am ordering 6 shrimps. Who decided there was no sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

A Picture Tale of Vegetarian Enchiladas~Pulp Fiction Style

Grasping For Straws

Sweet n "Saur" Cabbage Soup

Does anyone ever feel like Rachael Ray is sometimes just grasping for straws???? Today is one of those days where I am like "Why is she on the air". I don't know. I like cabbage and I even like sauerkraut but this to me is just "blah". It reminds me of Willy Wonka and when Charlie and his family have to eat cabbage water for supper every night. I am all for imagination when cooking but sometimes there are those recipes where you are thinking "WTF". She is also making a toasted cheeze w/pickles and mustard.......I am sure it IS delish but no thanks.

Tomato Paste Addendum

In a previous post about my love of Tomato Paste in a tube......I did a verbal smack down on tomato paste in can. I believe I mocked the can stating "who ever uses a whole can of tomato paste anyway".........well apparently this Texas Red Enchilada sauce recipe is ONE of those few times you really DO use a can of tomato paste. Verbal correction noted.....fat mouth shut.

Weary Travelers Stuck In Dallas~Dinner Postponed

Due to unforseen weather conditions our dinner guests are stuck in Dallas. Good thing everything I have is all able to wait it out. No biggie.

I am taking this time to make mexican tonight. I have been starving for enchiladas. I had been looking around for an enchilada sauce recipe and found one on recipezaar. It is called Texas Red Enchilada sauce. The stuff from a can is too salty and screws with your stomach too much and is filled w/all kinds of "whatchamacallits".

2 tablespoons butter or margarine
2 tablespoons flour
5 teaspoons red chili powder
1 1/2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons garlic powder
6 ounces tomato paste
2 1/4 cups water
salt and pepper

Make a roux w/flour & butter. Add the rest and bring to a boil, then simmer until desired thickness. I am excited to make this. Plus, it is all stuff most of us have in the pantry. It has really good reviews so hopefully they aren't all a bunch of closet liars.

I make my enchiladas vegetarian....tonight I am filling them w/black beans, pinto beans, sauteed red/green/yellow pepper and corn.......some 2% cheddar and a little monterey jack and you have a pretty healthy meal......spinach salad on the side. I will post some pictures tonight.

Entertaining Menu

Monday night my hubby has colleagues coming in from Omaha. It started out with me saying :Why don't you invite, M, T, J over for supper. Husband says: That sounds good, but I better invite S and K too. Me: ok. Then I get an email from my husband this morning ( he was at the park) and it states: M,T,J,S,K, T,W, J my wife and I would like to have you over for supper. We will be having fire grilled pizzas, salad and dessert. Me: uh, were did the extra 3 people come from??? That is 10 people including us. And who decided we were having pizza on the BGE???

Story of my life.

So now I have a monstrous container of dough resting in my fridge for tomorrow. I made this poppy seed dressing for a spinach salad w/dried cranberries and toasted pecans, I have espresso panna cotta cooling in the fridge for dessert. I am going to make Pizza Margherita, Pineapple and Ham Pizza and Pepperoni Pizza. I will be tossing pizza all night while everyone else is eating and enjoying themselves. Don't worry.......I WILL be sending him the bill. I feel like a friggin caterer. I feel like I have been cooking all weekend because I HAVE BEEN cooking all weekend. I really need to start sipping hot todies or toddy's or tody's....I don't know how you speel it.

Vegetarians and Vegans Cover Your Eyes and Ears

Short Rib Bourguignonne

http://www.foodnetwork.com under The Rescue Chef

I made this today. It is wonderful. It was quick prep time but cooks for like 3 hours. It was delicious. The short ribs melted in your mouth. I basically ended up taking the meat off the bone (the meat really fell off the bone) and just broke it up into chunks and put it back in the sauce. I thickened the sauce up w/a little cornstarch into more of a gravy. I had added a whole package of baby carrots and extra celery and then we spooned this over asiago mashed potatoes and had green beans. The only thing that weirded me out was the marrow coming out of the end of the bones when I was searing them and the whole connective tissue and fat thing when I was taking the meat off. I am not vegetarian or vegan. I don't think Vegan is possible for me........I guess I am thoroughly convinced that most vegans just hate food. Don't stone me if you are vegan and this is not true. I can see giving up meat, I have done so in the past. But giving up eggs, cheese, cream, ice cream etc. No way. There IS NO WAY IN HELL. Some of those vegan substitutes spook me to no end. And soy......the beans are fine. You can pop them like candy......but I don't want soy dogs or soy cheeze or soy anything else. I don't want fakin bacon. I don't want tofurkey. Tofu is another thing I don't like. It is just plain WEIRD. Meat tends to gross me out on occassion and I could probably easily give it up again, and who knows what the future holds. I do get hungry for a steak now and again or a burger. I make chicken but could definately live w/out it. Bones, blood, skin, connective tissue, veins, and small pin feathers ick me to no end. BLAH! Anywho's, after getting past the whole meat thing......the taste of the short ribs WAS incredible. I mean......take a look at Moby.......you know who Moby is??? The singer.....Moby, who had the beef with Eminem. He looks sickly......when he was on Rachael Ray they went to his house and he showed his fridge open and the only thing he has in there are drinks and vitamins (he is vegan)......he truly looks like he needs a Triple Bacon Cheeseburger......all pale and sallow looking. I don't know. Don't send me hate mail PETA or PITA (pain in the ass) I am just merely thinking out loud here. I mean.....chickens have to lay eggs, it is what they do. Someone has got to eat them......how is that hurting a chicken by eating there egg??? My girlfriend once cracked an egg open for our breakfast and said "instant abortion". THANK YOU SO MUCH.........never looked at it that way before. Took me awhile to eat eggs again but I managed to bring them back into my diet. I never crack and egg w/out thinking that though. Perhaps that will be next weeks QUOTE OF THE WEEK...."Crack an egg, Have you had your instant abortion today".

Banana Banana Banana Terra Cotta Pie

I consider this a food posting since the song is about Banana Banana Banana Terra Cotta Pie. System of a Down........such a good listen. Please click to your left for a sample. You WON'T be sorry! This has got to be one of my favorite songs hands down. Not because it is called Banana Banana Banana Terra Cotta Pie, that is just a bonus!

BGE Stromboli

Stromboli on the BGE



I have been grilling so much pizza these last 3 months that I am beginning to think I need to change my name to Guido from the Bronx.

Vanilla Bean Scones

Where the Frick did I put my Tonka Beans and Rolling Papers?????


Vanilla Bean Scones~The other day my wonderful son came home from work at Starbucks w/a Vanilla Bean Scone. It was divine. This weekend has been spent trying to recreate these morsels from heaven. I am close but not quite. Thanks to help from Tartellete, i probably speeled that wrong, on the vanilla bean measurements. And no, you don't want your men like you want your vanilla beans.....long, shriveled, slender with a crimp on the end~bad bad bad.


Hotcha Hotcha right out of the oven.


My attempt at trying to be as cool as fellow bloggers......it is giving me a headache. The pressure is too great. Remember that song......under pressure, bah bah dum dum, under pressure, bah bah dum dum.....guitar strrrrruuummmmmm

The recipe still needs some tweeking........I am out of some of my ingredients so it will be back to the drawing board tomorrow. My son said they were close but needed more vanilla bean......he also said that if I put more vanilla bean powder in them it will dry them out more???? I think I know where my tonka beans and rolling papers went.

EVIL EVIL HONEY DEATH BEAST HATE MUFFINS

Sifting for Death Muffins.......at least we have a cool retro bowl to look at.



Right before Death Muffins hit the oven.....they look so innocent, Death Beast Hate Muffins



Don't they look YUMMY??? There was absolutely nothing wrong with this recipe. It would have been delicious had I realized prior to mixing and baking that I LOATHE HONEY. This was a sweet potato bread recipe w/a praline topping that I found on a fellow bloggers site "closet cooking". I will make this again and omit the honey. I love sweet potatoes. I used a canned organic sweet potato puree and the muffins turned out beautifully.

As you can tell.......I finally learned how to place my pictures on this program. It has only taken me like 150 posts and 5 months to figure it out. Perserverence my friend, perserverence. I figured it out myself too.....I don't need no stinkin help. Might take me 3 times as long, but you can bet your sweet bippy I won't forget how to do it now. I should have been a private investigator.....I never give up, NEVER. I could be a food investigator.....Inspector Clouseau, remember him??? Does this even make sense??? Hells to tha'no. What am I talking about??? I am clearly overtired and in need of a chocolate chip or something sweet from the pantry in order to shock me back into the "now". Or perhaps some sleep. Yes, sleep. I will dream of fluffy fluffy white frosting.......................................

There is a spell check button on this program......why why why don't I ever use it??

I FREAKEN HATE HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh..........I just finally realized that I friggin HATE honey. I HATE IT!!! This is really weird, I know. I don't dislike many things where food is concerned. In the last couple of months I had been experimenting w/granola's and some whole wheat baked goods w/mulitgrains and flaxmeal etc. Everytime I made most of these items I was not liking them. They ALL had this one background taste to them. I couldn't figure it out........was it the whole wheat??? was it the flaxmeal??? Were the ingredients tastes changing after they were warmed in the oven. I normally like whole wheat, I normally like multigrains, I have flaxmeal in my juice everyday..........what was making this taste???? hmmmmm Tonight I made these sweet potato muffins that have a glaze and a pecan praline crumbled on top. I went to take a bite and this hideous taste YET AGAIN........well there was no whole wheat, no multigrain stuff, no flax, no wheat germ...............VOILA..........it is the honey. All these items were made w/honey. It was quite apparent in this sweet potato muffin that it was the honey. I FREAKEN HATE HONEY, Holy Crap!!!!!! At least now the mystery is solved. Whew! Anybody have any good substitutions for honey out there????

Muncha Buncha Cruncha Cruncha

MMMMmmmmmm muncha buncha cruncha cruncha.....crunch....crunch.....crunch

I MUST SCORE ME SUM O'THEEEESE

I have come across a product that I feel I must seek out and try. I have been reading this great blog by Tartelette. She makes these incredible pastries that are fit for a jewelers window. She aint down here in da'hood like the rest of us. She had a posting about these Pineapple Almond Cheesecakes that she had whipped up and used a "Tonka Bean". Tonka Bean???? HUH??? Never heard of such a thing. I googled IMMEDIATELY. How dare there be a bean out there that I hath not tried.....and a bean for desserts yet. Wikipedia used words such as: perfumed, vanilla, almond, cinnamon, cloves, hypnotic fragrance, and then it went on to say: banned in the USA by the FDA, lethal, toxic and carcinogenic, coumarin and anti-coagulant, commonly used in tobacco, nasal snuff and pipe tobacco. Have I found the end all be all??? A bean that you can use in desserts, possibly end someones life with AND smoke.........say it ain't so, just say it ain't so. I gots to score me sum o'theeeeese beans. I can only imagine what these suckers would go for on the open air market street corner in North Little Rock......mama would git some change in her pocket, baby needs a new pair o'shoes. The hunt begins..............TONKA BEANS!

BBQ Chicken Pizza 2 Ways

Saturday night was the usual Pizza on the BGE. I marinated my chicken in the lemon,evoo and toasted fennel seed and then grilled off. I then made one pizza w/bbq sauce, chicken, mozzarella, smoked gouda and fresh cilantro. The other version was bbq sauce, chicken, tipsy onions (carmelized onions cooked in shiraz-grenache, balsamic vinegar, brown sugar and a splash of sherry), mozzarella, manchego cheese, fresh cilantro. mmmmmm

And the answer to your questions is....YES, I am missing part of an eyebrow now thanks to that first picture of grilled chicken and I also now have bangs....or sort of.

Culinary Injury

A fellow bloggers ankle injury reminded me of a funny story.........................

Back in 2003 I was residing in Apple Valley, CA at the edge of the Mojave dessert on one side and the El Cajon Pass on the other side. My husband was the Shop Director the BNSF railway at the Barstow Shop. He had a fellow shop director in from Montana and they were coming to our house for supper. We were just going to do a simple grill.........hot dogs and hamburgers. This was very informal and very last minute. I was furiously chopping red onion while my husband and said colleague were basking on the veranda with cool drinks........I look down and I am missing part of an appendage.......hmmm where did the other half of my thumb go???? It was just here a second ago. Now mind you, this severed thumb incident would have been an all out 4 alarm fire for most people.....MOST PEOPLE....I am not like most people. I don't freak over illness or injury too easily and can clear up most incidents w/holisitic remedies. I personally think that most people run to the doctor every time they fart sideways and I hate that. I am totally the opposite. I don't drag myself to the doc until I have exhausted every holistic remedy and they are engraving my tombtone plot. Of course, I could not up and leave this intricate dinner of hot dogs to drive myself to the E.R (hells to the no)........which this definately was an incident worthy of an E.R. A self-proclaimed foodie would NEVER leave her entertaining post, you go down with the ship, even if it was just hot dogs. I have standards, I have morals, I had an audience waiting for food.....well 2 people anyway and I guess 1 was my husband so he really didn't count. OK, so I had one person waiting for my culinary delight of hot dogs on the grill and trust me, this guy didn't look like he was starving either. So, I find the other half of my thumb, which was still attached....just dangling off, and I grab for the super glue. I superglue my thumb back on (which is what the ER would have done anyway, DUH) and wrap it up good and tight and continue on with my grilling feast. Hot dogs w/all the fixin's were superb.........there is nothing like a good Hebrew National Grilled Dog w/all the condiments.

Orgasmatron Cookies

I was a little concerned at this point

Holy Crappola!

Perhaps Jacques Torres should rename his "French Kiss" cookies......"ORGASMIC COOKIES".

~one out one babies agree

Of course, who could argue with chocolate disks as big as your friggin head?????

V-I-R-G-I-N

Okay, now I know this is how most men like their women and it is definately how Paul Newman likes his lemonade, but apparently this is how Williams and Sonoma like their Polypropylene. I had to run in for an oven thermometer and a new square baking stone and happened upon a grippboard......why not, I say. I get it home and start unwrapping it and it clearly states on the board that it is *drum roll puhleaze* brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrum

100% Virgin Polypropylene. I guess that means that my cutting board will be free of STD's and any other funky lurking stuff from down under.........fromundacheeze as some people say. For those of you that don't know........that is cheezefromundayourballs. Need I say more???

Assumptions Make an ASS out of You or I mean, ME

King Arthur Flour Jacques Torres French Kiss Cookie Mix.

I don't usually buy a lot of mixes.......I try to make most from scratch so I can stay away from most of that added "whatchamajunk" they put in everything. I will save my "whatchamajunk" for McDonalds, Taco Bell etc. I am going to try and make these tonight w/Mr. Maxwell. He wants to make cookies since Daddy is coming home tonight.

Funny Story and a "DOH" moment: Looking on the back of the box it states.....1/2 cup butter, cookie mix, 1 large egg and bag of chocolate disks. Well, I assumed that since I have to provide the butter, egg, and bought the cookie mix that I had to provide the chocolate disks also. Well, you can clearly see in the picture that the chocolate portion "runs"...it doesn't stay in a disk. So, of course, w/out opening the box.....I call KAF and ask customer service if "chocolate disks" is there way of saying "chocolate chips" or was I supposed to buy special "chocolate disks". Because I don't know about you........but I don't have ANY chocolate chips in my pantry that are going to melt like that in the oven........they hold there shape......hence the "chip" part. The lady on the phone says "hmmm you don't have any chocolate disks in your box".....DOH...now WHY would a know it all self-proclaimed foodie open up the box prior to calling???? Only a sane person would do that. So I open the box up and the golden ticket presented itself......CHOCOLATE DISKS RIGHT ON TOP......FRICKING AMAZING........perhaps next time I should check before assuming. You know what they say about assumptions.........they make an ass out of you or I mean, ME. Lesson learned!!!!

Food In Da'Hood...The Rize and Fall and Rize of a Ghetto Blog

I really didn't know what to write about today. This has been a pretty slow week where food is concerned. Hubby is away on business and I am not going to cook for a 4 year old and a 1 year old that eat about a tablespoon of food and then proudly proclaim they are done or "i don wike yat" (I don't like that). My 19 year old works most nights and will scavenge whatever is in the fridge in a ziploc container and whisk it up to his room like a hermit and eat it cold. I have had a few free moments the last couple of days to look at some other food blogs on blogger. I must of been in blog denial...........some of these sites are amazing. I look like ghetto blog compared to most of these........staged food, perfect pictures, desserts that look like they should be in a jewelry store window, comments galore on their sites. WOW to be like that. I felt inferior....thinking why am I even bothering. My blog is ghetto BIG TIME, this is too much pressure, no one really reads anyway, in the scheme of life is this really important???? No, perhaps I should quit blogging. Then I really got to thinking.....I didn't start doing this to "stage my food"........my food isn't fake. I am not making food for the readers. I make food for MY family and for MY creative outlet. I make food for US to enjoy not cyberspace. Don't get me wrong....it is nice to get comments good or bad, I don't get offended, but it is very easy to get caught up in this "my food needs to look picture perfect or I can't post it". I post everything.......the good, the bad, the ugly and the garbage. I think that is what sets me apart......I post my mistakes. I am not purrrrrfect. My food is not for magazines or tv.......my food is real. It comes out of the oven and we eat it like real people. I find a toasted cheeze just as interesting as a Filet w/a mushroom duxelle. I will crave a 'nilla wafer just as much as a light airy french macroon. I love going to McDonalds just as much as 1620 Restaraunt. I am the same no matter what I am eating or where I am eating. I am who I am. I say what I want....and post pics of what I want....I don't clean up my blog.......Of course, my favorite postings are ones that are about comical food experiences. I would much rather post a funny food story than a picture of something I have baked. But I am not a comic either........I can't just pull funny food stories out of my ass everyday of the week. Although that would be nice but not realistic. I started blogging to keep a food diary. My ultimate goal is to make homemade cookbooks to give each of my children when they leave the nest and I decided to start this blog so I would have an archive to pull from when I have the time to get this project started. The funny stories will just be an added bonus. Kind of like a huge food scrapbook. I think Snoop Dog would be proud.

~Of course, no one wants their food to look like a plate someone just threw up on either but it is what it is.

Scrumptious Supper~

WHY Couldn't I Have Thought Of This????

www.foodporn.com

When The Cat Is Away.....The Mice Make Mushroom Soup

Whenever the hubby aka "coffee poser", has to go out of town on business, I usually make something I wouldn't dream of fixing when he is home. Hubby HATES mushrooms. Quite frankly, he hasn't given them a fair shake but that is a whole other story. I had picked up a Cook's Illustrated Magazine at Fresh Market a couple of weeks ago on Soups & Stews. They had a creamy mushroom soup in there which sounded delectable. I LOVE MUSHROOMS!!! Our 19 year old son likes mushrooms also.............so.........I made the soup this afternoon. It is filled w/shrooms, cream, sherry, shallots, garlic and chicken stock......then whirl w/immersion blender inside the hot pot. It is very tasty......not as thick as I was hoping for....but tasty nonetheless. A baby lettuce salad and some grilled ciabatta w/olive oil and rubbed w/garlic.

Tonight I have a good read.....I will nestle up w/my new book......courtesy of a friend's discount at Barnes Noble. Artisan Bread In Five Minutes a Day~The Discovery That Revolutionizes Home Baking. I definately have a learning curve where bread is concerned. I am excited to dig into this book.

Note to Self: Sherry tastes pretty damn good straight out the bottle~what a pleasant surprise that WAS.

Foodie Pet Peeve (drum roll) FOUR

LEMONS

Why is it when you order iced tea in a restaurant they always refill your glass of tea but NEVER EVER EVER bring a fresh lemon slice/wedge. NEVER.......they don't even offer. If my tea is gone....guess what einstein......so is the friggin lemon......the wedge is spent if I have squeezed it and slurrrrped all my tea down. DUH, why is this so hard??? I swear, if I was a waitress, which I am not and never have been and probably wouldn't last 1 day if I had to be, but I would give a fresh lemon wedge EVERYTIME I refilled a glass of tea or you can smack me on the ass and call me Mary.

...................................................................end of complaint

Just Food~

Our Saturday night Pizza on the BGE ritual turned into Sunday night this week. Friday night was supposed to be Grilled Alaskan Salmon but my husband decided he wanted another Reuben, so that in turn pushed the salmon to Saturday and the pizza to Sunday. I put some crushed rosemary, dried thyme and roasted garlic powder in the dough and made just a plain tomato sauce w/ 2% mozzarella, 2% cheddar, smoked gouda and some asiago and then I made one with basil pesto, roma tomato, fresh mozzarella and asiago. The usual baby lettuce salad that we eat every night of the week and a strawberry italian soda. Leftover bread dough resulted in the semi-round baked concoction up above that I just filled with cinnamon filling from KAF and almond schmear from KAF.....rolled it up and brushed w/1 T butter, sprinkled sliced almonds and turbinado (raw) sugar over top and baked until it looked done.

Foodie Offends

Some people can be soooooo sensitive. I am NOT one of those people. It takes a hell of a lot to offend me if you can do it at all. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.......I can agree to disagree and continue on with my conversation. I don't get my panties in a twist easily. About 5 years ago I worked for WPIC of UPMC (western psychiatric institute for university of pittsburgh medical center)........yes, I worked w/the crazies. This was actually my 3rd job with the crazies.....do you notice a pattern here hehehehe. Anyway.......this is a food story, really it is. We were going to have an office Christmas Party Potluck at one of the therapists' house. Since I was the office manager and the food officianado, I sent out the email and posted the sign up sheet on what to bring. I told everyone to think long and hard about their culinary selection. This one part-time therapist in the office w/a German heritage signs up to bring Pork & Sauerkraut........yes, you heard me right.........your eyes are not deceiving you........Pork & Sauerkraut. HUH?????? Is this a really bad joke????? Who signs up for an office Christmas Party Potluck to bring Pork & Sauerkraut???? Apparently she was going to go all out and bring it in a crockpot. Now mind you, I know she was of German Heritage but she wasn't just off the beer stein.........she was one of us.......she didn't speak German, she wasn't brought over here against her will at age 12......she was born and raised here.....she knows the rules, she should know the etiquette. People want bacon wrapped scallops, tricuits and assorted imported cheeses, cured meats w/a selection of olives and roasted peppers, spiced nutz, fondue, NOT PORK & SAUERKRAUT. I politely send out an email, not naming any names, but merely requesting that certain individuals rethink their selections for the office potluck and perhaps bring a dish with a bit more cheer, fun and merriment and not something that is going to stink up the joint like a bad case of gasssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Said woman gets ALL OFFENDED and boycotts Christmas Party. Sheeeeeesh, I should have been the one offended that someone was trying to bring Meat and Cabbage that smells like a rotten ass into my Festive Christmas Office Potluck. Did I get offended..........nooooooooooooo.........therapists can be sooooooo touchy. This same woman has a husband named "Garth"........who names their child Garth???? Need I say more??????? I think about this now and again and I still get a great chuckle out of this.

R.I.P.

This is another R.I.P. (rest in peace) edition of the foodie's blog. Now and again, we have a food item and sometimes even an appliance that leaves us unexpectedly. This is Mr. Chewy Granola Cranberry Bars w/Barry Callebaut Chocolate Chips. Mr. Granola went to sleep w/the fishes yesterday evening. For whatever reason, Mr. Granola would not get hard. Not even hard enough for chewy. Perhaps he needed some viagra.........whatever his problem was....as much as I hated to throw out something with Barry Callebaut chocolate chips, he couldn't get it up so he got left in the dust. RIP.

Look Ma, I Have Had Ice Cream 3 Nights In A Row!!!

Foodie Updates

Yeah, so my kid had his pajamas on all day, SO WHAT

This was after we had to scrap 3 of them.....4th time was charm

uh, speaks for itself

Round loaf of deli rye cooked on the BGE

Cooking rye on the BGE

Rye rising on the pizza board

A Foodie's Pet Peeve #3

The Coffee Poser.........you know who you are. I won't name any names here to protect the identity of those involved and his identity has been sealed with a mask as this could get vicious.







COFFEE POSER:
1. one who pretends to drink coffee.

2. who tries to drink coffee but with exaggeration

3. Any one who does not follow his/her own ideas of what he/she likes. Following no one set norm makes you real and following no one set norm makes you poser. Poser is governed not by the coffee you drink, but rather by the state of your mind and the conformity to your own beliefs

4. A person who attempts to blend coffee into a specific social group.

You have a ritual..........you fill up your "pink" thermal cup and then let it cool down (WHAT IS UP WITH THAT), you add heaps of sweet n low and flavored syrups, even your little girl vanilla liquid creamer, you even sometimes put an ICE CUBE in it (that is really irritating), you carry it throughout the house for part of the morning eventually leaving it somewhere completely full from the the time you started. Just drink a pop already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't like coffee, just admit it!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rye Bread Update

Bread turned out pretty well. I was SHOCKED.......I was hoping for the best but expecting the worst. I did one loaf on the BGE and one on a pizza stone in my convection oven. Soooooo, tomorrow is on for Valentine's Day Reuben Panini's. My waffle cone maker showed up 2 days earlier than expected also. Since I never made the ice cream............here is my plan.....I am going to make waffle cones tomorrow and dip them in white chocolate (also my hubby's fave) and then sprinkle chocolate "jimmies" or "sprinkles" to the rest of ya, from Guittard onto the white chocolate. I am just going to buy some ice cream since I don't have time to make any now.....a girl can't do everything, I got 2 kids bouncing off the walls and cat at the vet for a sex change, I am a busy woman. I know "white chocolate" is not really "chocolate" but what else can I call it?? I have a hard time saying that word "white chocolate".

White chocolate is a confection of sugar, cocoa butter, and milk solids. Unlike chocolate, white chocolate contains neither chocolate liquor nor cocoa solids. The low melting point of cocoa butter allows white chocolate and chocolate to remain solid at room temperature, yet melt easily in the mouth. White chocolate thus has a texture similar to that of milk chocolate.

Jimmies~You're correct in your assumption that 'jimmies' is primarily a New England term for what the rest of the country (and probably the world) know as 'sprinkles.' According to the Dictionary of American Regional English, 'Jimmies' is actually a trademarked term for a brand of candy (not necessarily chocolate) sprinkles, which they explain are 'tiny balls or rod-shaped bits of candy used as a topping for ice-cream, cakes and other sweets.' Although 'Jimmies' is trademarked, my guess is that the term was in generic use for many years prior to the founding of Jimmies as a brand name. And while 'jimmies,' meaning chocolate sprinkles, first showed up in English around 1947, 'jimmies' has also been used since around 1900 as a short form of the old English slang word 'jim-jam.' 'Jim-jam,' in turn, has since the 16th century meant 'a trivial article or knick-knack,' so it's not too great a stretch to see a connection there with candy "jimmies," which are certainly trivial.

I will quiz you on these terms in the future....................................................

Reuben Kulakofsky

My husband's favorite sandwhich "hands down" is the reuben.

I did not know this and I bet you didn't either:According to Omaha lore, the combination of rye bread, corned beef, Swiss cheese, and sauerkraut had been dreamed up in 1925 to feed participants in a late-night poker game at the Blackstone Hotel in downtown Omaha by a local grocer, Reuben Kulakofsky. Charles Schimmel, the hotel's owner, was so taken with the sandwich that he put it on the hotel restaurant menu, designated by its inventor's name. Fern Snider, a one-time waitress at the Blackstone, entered the Reuben in a national sandwich competetion in 1956; her entry won--hence one of the earliest pieces of documentation for the name of the sandwich, an OED cite from 1956 from the food services journal "Institutions". ~Jim Rader of Merriam-Webster

I thought it would be nice to try and make some homemade deli rye bread on the BGE (big green egg) and then make him a reuben panini for Valentine's Day supper. I am getting ready to fire up the BGE in a minute. I made 2 loaves just in case 1 does not turn out. Both may not turn out. I have still not purrrrfected the art of baking bread. Lessons will be learned if it doesn't turn out........learning opportunities abound in failure. I embrace failure. If they both turn out.........then some lucky recipient at the railroad will receive the other loaf. Wish me luck!! I will post pics whether it be success or disaster. Although I am sure the disaster will make for more comical reading.

What is for Din-Din???

Tuesday night din-din. Din-Din is the other slang my hubby uses for sup-sup. Slightly annoying, I know, you are talking to to the choir. Anyway, I made this chicken soup adapted from Tyler Florence Ultimate. I substituted gnocchi for the tortellini. If you haven't used gnocchi yet in a soup, you need to. They are soooo yummy. Especially in a chicken based soup. They are tender little potato dumplings that melt in your mouth. Basically the soup was a chicken stock base, carrot, celery, onion, thyme, garlic, bay leaf, italian chicken sausage meatballs and the gnocchi. I then took some roasted garlic bread and spread one side w/some basil pesto, layered roma tomato and a small amount of fresh mozzarella and grilled on the panini press.

Danger, Danger, Danger Will Robinson

Quite frankly, THIS CONCERNS ME!!! I open up my package from KAF (King Arthur Flour) today and this is what I pull out.

*USE CAUTION STRONG FUMES*

All I wanted to do was try and make some homemade rye bread. Instead, I find myself suiting up w/latex gloves and looking for the mushroom cloud gas mask ensemble. Who knew that baking could become a biohazard.

Just in case you are too young to know who Will Robinson is or you live in a bubble:“Danger, Will Robinson!” is an English catch phrase derived from the classic 1960s American television series Lost in Space. The phrase characterizes the relationship between two of its regular characters, the Robot and Will Robinson over the course of several episodes of that series. The autonomous (and nameless) robot takes a protective attitude toward Will, and alerts him thus to dangerous situations, expecting Will to take immediate action to protect himself. The robot cannot do everything, even though its sensors are amazingly sensitive: Interesting Factoid:Despite the popularity of the phrase in everyday culture, it was only said once on the show.

I Call This One~ BOY EATING COOKIE

Breakfast For Sup-Sup

My husband always asks what is for Sup-Sup (supper). I have no idea where that came from, the sup-sup. When I don't cook anything (which is not often), he will come home and walk in the door and say "What is for sup-sup" and I will reply "What do you smell" and he will say "Nothing" and then I will reiterate "Then I guess that is what we are having for sup-sup".

Tonight I am making Italian Omelettes filled with Italian Turkey sausage, tomato sauce, red/green peppers and low fat mozzarella. Grilled Rosemary Bread brushed w/olive oil (toast), a salad of baby italian lettuce and a caramel iced coffee (just going to throw some coffee, torani caramel syrup and fat free 1/2 & 1/2 in a glass of ice. mmmmmm good.

I don't know if anyone saw Tyler's Ultimate today but he made a really yummy grilled cheese and a chicken soup w/chicken sausage meatballs and tortellini and chocolate amaretto walnut brownies...........that is definately going to be on the menu at this household this week!!!!

I don't know that I am going to pull off the mexican hot chocolate ice cream w/mallows for V-day. My waffle cone maker will not be here until Thursday. It might have to wait for another time. DRATS!!!! Back to the cooking drawing board for V-day. Emeril made a beef stew w/cocoa and a flourless chocolate torte today........perhaps that could be the one.

Fishing For Waffles

Last night I had a dream that I was fishing with corn on the cob and catching fish left and right. I think it was because I had been bad mouthing all of you "so called" salmon eaters out there.

I also dreamt I was making waffles.

The End.

A Foodie's Pet Peeve Part Folie a` Deux

Folie à deux (literally, "a madness shared by two") is a rare psychiatric syndrome in which a symptom of psychosis (particularly a paranoid or delusional belief) is transmitted from one individual to another.

I am absolutely positive that SOMEONE out there, yoohoo, over here, shares this same Pet Peeve with me. Here is goes:

INDIVIDUALS THAT LIKE SALMON, BUT WON'T EAT ANY OTHER SEAFOOD!!!!

This post is dedicated to my husband and also to Danielle (you know who you are). I knew that this underlying psychosis was rampant in my house but did not know it extended beyond the borders of our front door. Apparently so, you know you are, Danielle. I am sure there are others too.

My husband refuses to eat seafood, won't even try it. BUT BUT BUT, he will eat grilled salmon. Now the reason I find this absolutely ludicrous is...............that salmon is one of the FISHIEST tasting fishes (I know it is not a word) out there. How can you not like tilapia or halibut but you can eat salmon????? Tilapia is TASTELESS, salmon tastes like you would imagine fish tastes like. How can you not like a buttery sweet scallop BUT you can eat salmon??? This is a MAJOR pet peeve of mine. How can you not have a deep fried haddock dinner but eat SALMON???? Someone had to shed some light on this madness and unfortunately it has to be me.

A Foodie's Pet Peeve

*Pet peeves involve complaints about specific behaviors, rather than general dissatisfaction.

hmmm I am not even totally sure how to start this one. One thing that really annoys me is when someone says they don't like a certain food. Particularly when this someone, has either NEVER tried this particular item of food or has only tried it once one way. Does this make sense???

example: I don't like bananas. I loathe them. The consistency reminds me of wallpaper paste. I don't like bananas per say but I like banana things. I like banana pudding, banana cream pie, I LOVE banana bread, I will even make a bananas foster but I will not peel a banana and eat it unless that banana and I were the last thing on an island and I had to eat one or I would starve to death.

Okay, so that proves a point......you can NOT like something one way but you could possibly like it prepared another way. Just because you don't like it one way doesn't mean you might not like it another.

I have a mean trick that I constantly play on our good friends. It stems way back. She says in a conversation.......oh, I don't like to cook with red wine. I hate red wine in sauces or soups. I hate red wine. hmmmmmm........so I make my Italian Sausage and Bean soup and she sits down to eat it and says "Oh my gosh, this is so fricking good"....... I say "Oh really, because there is 1/2 bottle of red wine in it". My friend states she hates coconut. I make cowboy cookies and put ground up shredded coconut in them. Friend says "These are the best cookies we have ever had, can we order 2 dozen from you"........I say "Oh really, because there is coconut in them, I thought you hated coconut." Friend says "I hate pumpkin......pumpkin pie disgusts me, I hate all the spices". I fix a Pumpkin cheesecake and cover it in caramel. Friend sits down to eat it and I tell her she has to try it......if she doesn't like it that is fine, I won't be offended. Friends says "OH MY GOSH, I LIKE PUMPKIN". She proceeds to eat the whole piece meanwhile saying the whole time........who knew, I like pumpkin. Tomorrow night this same friend is coming for BLT Pizza which is her favorite. I use 1/2 applewood smoked bacon and 1/2 neuske's turkey bacon. This same friend has said in the past that she hates turkey bacon. I can't wait for her to sit down and gobble her pizza down. I am them going to say "Hey, have you tried that turkey bacon from Fresh Market yet?" She will then proceed to reiterate that she HATES turkey bacon and then I will say.........."Oh really, because your pizza was just covered in it." This turkey bacon is so meaty and good you can't tell it is not the real deal....it is actually better than the real deal.

A Foodie's Pet Peeve Part Deux Tomorrow............Stay Tuned

Barefoot Stacey

Barefoot Contessa's Lemon Chicken and Croutons, French Made Easy Update:

This dish turned out pretty good.....the croutons turn into kind of a rustic stuffing once all the juices are poured over them. I used an herb focaccia bread to make the croutons. For our side of veggies I cut up a rutabaga, red pepper, fennel bulb, cipollini onions, baby carrots and cauliflower tossed in olive oil, thyme and rosemary, salt & pepper and roasted it off. I don't know that I am ready to call myself Barefoot Stacey but I did a pretty good job. The chicken was roasted to perfection...it literally fell apart. I have made a number of her desserts but this is the first major meal of hers that I have prepared.

Cipollini Onions
Pronounced chip-oh-LEE-nee this is a smaller, flat, pale onion. The flesh is a slight yellowish color and the skins are thin and papery. The color of the skin ranges from pale yellow to the light brown color of Spanish onions. These are sweeter onions, having more residual sugar than garden-variety white or yellow onions, but not as much as shallots.
The advantage to cipollinis is that they are small and flat and the shape lends them well to roasting. This combined with their sweetness makes for a lovely addition to recipes where you might want to use whole caramelized onions.

Barefoot Contessa's French Made Easy

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,1977,FOOD_9936_30341,00.html

IF I can get to Fresh Market this afternoon, I will make this tonight for supper. Barefoot Contessa's Lemon Chicken with Croutons. I have seen this show air a couple of times in the past and have always been intrigued by it. I think w/a side of french beans and some roasted squash in place of the shallots. I love shallots......my husband not so much. I think I may also roast off a head of garlic to go with it also.

Steel Cut Oat Update: 15 month old really likes the steel cut oats mixed with unsweetened applesauce and cinnamon. SCORE! They also hold up beautifully in the fridge for the next day. They retained complete texture and were just as yummy as yesterday after being warmed slightly in the microwave and topped with cinnamon and maple syrup. I am convinced and hooked and will be eating this at least 1/2 of the week for breakfast. Nothing Nothing Nothing like regular oatmeal.

We are hopefully having friends over Saturday night for BLTA (bacon, lettuce, tomato, avacado) Pizza's on the BGE. I use this Neimans Ranch bacon in the meat case from Fresh Market....it is very meaty and thick...I take kitchen scissors and cut all the fat away and just use the meat portion of the bacon. It still renders a tiny bit of fat but not much but you get all the great flavor and crispiness to sprinkle over the pizzas. This trick works wonders to cut out a lot of the fat. They also make a turkey bacon that is out of this world.....it is thick and really meaty and tastes NOTHING like that stuff in the case that is prepackaged.....you know which one I am talking aobut. It is worth the extra money to buy the organic neiman's ranch. A little bit of mozzarella, asiago and parm, roma tomatoes and romaine tossed w/some mayonnaise, and diced avacado, on a honey wheat crust. This is our friends favorite pizza when we have them over.

I also placed a RIDICULOUSLY large order with KAF. I figured I might as well just order everything and pay one shipping instead of constantly deciding to make something....needing to order and paying $7 shipping everytime. I also paid for 2 day shipping which I am TOTALLY against forking money out for but I had a problem with my last order sitting at the post office in Little Rock for 5 days.........I finally called the post office directly and bitched and it was delivered the next day. They let it sit on a pallet in the back for 5 days because it wasn't a priority.....maybe not to them......but it was FOR ME.

CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES 6 OZ

1LB
CALLEBAUT SEMISWEET CHOCOLATE CHIPS

WHITE CHOCOLATE JIMMIES 4OZ

APPLE PIE SPICE 4 OZ

CRANBERRY-SUNFLOWER GRANOLA BAR MIX 200Z

FRENCH KISS COOKIE MIX

KAF ORGANIC HIGH GLUTEN FLOUR 3LB

WHITE RYE FLOUR 3#

MEDIUM RYE FLOUR 3#

ITLHRB
BISCUIT MIX

SRCM
BISCUIT MIX

VTCHED
BISCUIT MIX

BISCUIT CUTTERS SET/4

PARCHMENT HALF SHEETS

SAF RED INSTANT YEAST 1#

NON DIASTATIC MALT POWDER 1#

DELI RYE FLAVOR 4 OZ

NATURAL BANANA FLAVOR 2 OZ

SWEET CHOCOLATE FLAKES 4OZ.

BAKER'S SPECIAL DRY MILK 1#

POTATO FLOUR 1#

HEIDELBERG RYE SOUR 4 OZ

Well, I am off to exercise this blog off hahahahaha.

Loca Luna

DINNER WITH FRIENDS

www.localuna.com
Reviews:
"Featured on Rachael Ray's Tasty Travels"
One of the "Best Neighborhood Restaurants in America."Bon Appetit Magazine
"Abernathy has a passion for creative southwest cooking."Gourmet Magazine
"A rising star."Southern Living
FUN - Delicious - Creative - Casual Cool - Reasonably Priced
NATIONALLY RECOGNIZED, AWARD WINNING GEM

What I ate: LOCA LUNA CHEESE DIP "The Best on the Planet !" This is a white vegetarian cheese dip and it is OUTRAGEOUSLY DELICIOUS.
Loca Luna Grilled Salmon with Spicy Tequila-Cranberry Basting Sauce. A dynamite sauce over Super-Fresh Filet over Sweet Corn and Sun dried Cranberries. Sauteed Vegetables and Saffron Rice. Iced Tea and a Chocolate Bavarian Torte. Oooooh la-la.

This is a great little restaurant. We have eaten here quite a few times and it has become one of our favorites. We were excited to share it with our newly relocated friends. They loved it.

Thinking Cap is ON

Okay, now this steel oat thing has really got me thinking. Whilst exercising this morning the little hamster in my head jumped on his wheel. Of course I think about FOOD while exercising....doesn't everyone??? The possibilities are ENDLESS....................I am sure I am not the first person to think of these but here are a couple of combinations to keep it switched up a bit so you don't get bored.

1. Mushed up banana, cinnamon, maple syrup, chopped walnuts and some vanilla extract
2. Dried apples, cinnamon, maple syrup, chopped pecans and sweet dough extract
3. Blueberries, honey, almonds and almond extract, perhaps a tablespoon or 2 of milk
4. Dates, Pecans and a sprinkle of toasted coconut and honey
5. Strawberries, honey and a couple of tablespoons of milk or possibly even the fat free 1/2&1/2 I have been using

I am thinking that adding just a smattering of extract could really impart some great flavors into these oats. The sweet dough extract is from KAF (king arthur flour) and this is an extract that most bakeries use in their dough when making pastries or sweet breads and rolls. I am thinking this could give a wonderful sweet buttery undertone to these oats w/out using any of the fat in butter etc. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Instant, Quick, Old Fashioned or Steel Cut, What's Your Pleasure??

I personally have never cared much for Quaker Instant Oatmeal packets. They taste like flavored wallpaper paste to me. Every baking recipe always calls for "quick" oats. I replaced all "quick oats" with "old fashioned"oats....noticing a better texture to cookies, bars, muffins with "old fashioned".....kind of a chewier texture w/some substance. I will never go back to using quick oats. Old fashioned are much better for you also. Now comes the "steel cut" oats or also called "irish oatmeal". These don't even look like the oats we are normally used to. They look like little pellets in the container and you could not use these to bake with. I have heard so much about them lately and what great health benefits they have that I decided to try them this morning. It did take a full 30 minutes to make. It was quite yummy. It consisted of 4 cups of water to a rolling boil, add 1 cup of steel cut oats and once mixture starts to thicken slightly you lower temp to a simmer and cook for 30 minutes. I topped it off with 100% maple syrup that I had infused with cinnamon sticks and 1/2 tsp of vietnamese cinnamon. They have a chewy texture. I was pleasantly surprised. I have found a recipe on http://www.recipezaar.com/ for crock pot steel cut oats.......sounds like something I am going to try. http://www.recipezaar.com/101101 It would be great to do this the night before and have it waiting when you wake up. Fresh Market carries container of these wonderful dried chewy apple slices and I think these cut up and put into the crockpot along with the oats would be a great addition. I have also heard replacing some of the water with a 100% apple juice while cooking will give it some needed sweetness. I think topping the appley steel cut oats off with some toasted walnuts and a little maple syrup and cinnamon will be just the trick. Cinnamon has so many powerful health benefits......lowering blood pressure and also helping control Type II diabetes. I try and eat some cinnamon everyday. What a great healthy gift to give your body every morning. I always hate eating breakfast, I am never hungry in the morning but I have literally forced myself for years to eat breakfast, usually a cold bran cereal or granola of some sort. I am glad I finally took the time to try these oats. They are definately going to become a regular in my diet (diet in as what I consume on a daily basis.......not diet as in I am going to cut calories to lose weight).

I May NEED To Order This

I really am feeling compelled to order this from Williams Sonoma. Homemade ice cream is one of my specialties. I have been using http://www.coneguys.com/ cones. They carry them in our fresh market. I like them, but don't love them. I think this waffle cone machine may be the missing piece that makes my life complete.....ok, perhaps that is a little dramatic......I am sure my husband won't buy that excuse either....although he could care less about my spending habits. Chocolate dipped waffle cones........chocolate dipped waffle bowls sprinkled with jimmies. I mean it is cool to give homemade ice cream as a gift but it would be da'bomb to also give homemade cones to eat it out of. Looooooooong Paaauuuuuussssssseeeeeee, okay, I am back.......I ordered it!!!

On a different note, but a similar one, my new ice cream flavor flave is going to be a Mexican Hot Chocolate. I dont' know if anyone has had mexican hot chocolate before but it is quite yummy. Ibarra makes a mexican chocolate, if you can find it, and it is quite convenient because it already has the cinnamon in it. It comes in a chunky round piece, usually 5 to a container. If you can't find mexican chocolate, you can melt down some chocolate and put a little coffee/espresso, some cinnamon and a pinch of cayenne in it. One time I made a mexican hot chocolate fondue and we dipped miniature ice cream balls rolled in nuts in it........OH MY is all I can say. Anyway, I am thinking of making the chocolate ice cream, with the espresso, cinnamon and a pinch of cayenne and then putting a marshmallow swirl through it. Hence the Mexican Hot Chocolate Ice Cream w/Marshmallows. Just like a cup of steaming Mexican Hot Chocolate topped off with mallows.....except cold. Now wouldn't that be AMAZING in a homemade waffle cone or bowl??? That will probably be my husbands Valentines Day Gift.

When It Rains It Pours.............

This is the last thing for today, I swear. I either have NOTHING to say or I can't shut up. I guess today is one of those obnoxious internet posting days for me. I made Chicken Caesar Salad Pizzas on the BGE Saturday night..............so I wanted to post a quick pic of that. I used an Italian Flour from KAF (king arthur flour) and the dough was very soft and actually pretty tricky to work with. They turned out great though. Just brushed the dough with a little olive oil and some dried herbs and garlic, sprinkled on some shredded asiago and 2% mozzarella and then baked for 5 minutes on the BGE. When I took it off it was topped with organic romaine hearts, olive oil/lemon/fennel seed chicken breast, shaved Parmigiano-Reggiano , cracked black pepper and caesar dressing.

I also think I need a waffle cone maker for my homemade ice cream. Honey......if you are listening.