CHEESECAKE Dulce de Leche

Cheesecake=A dessert pie with filling made from soft cheese such as ricotta, Philadelphia or farmer's cheese. Commonly lemon or vanilla flavored, baked without top crust and often topped with fruit. (Technically a pie, not a cake, since it is unleavened and contains little or no flour)

Cheesecake=A genre of glamour photography and poster art made popular in wartime pin-ups of the 1940's, often featuring modest poses by movie starlets displaying lots of leg but little explicit nudity. So called because of the resemblance of a stocking-clad female thigh to the layers of a cheesecake dessert

Cheesecake=(Hence) Any pictures, modeling, posing or shooting for glamour photography or softcore porn.

Cheesecake=Anything that is soft, sweet and enjoyable.
Okay, Baby-- show me a little cheesecake

Cheesecake=A photography artform which depicts a scantily clad young woman, usually a bit on the 'meaty' side, in sexy poses for pinup purposes.
Cheesecake art has been around for quite some time.

Cheesecake=a secret organization of radiohead related compilations. extremely secretive. very hard to find. only an elite few are aloud in. is sometimes used as an inside joke between one cheesecaker and the other.
"I love cheesecake!"
"really me too!"
"you know what im talkin about?"
"yeah, them boys!"
"teehee!"
Cheesecake=The female equivalent of a beefcake

Cheesecake=A freakin' tasty dessert. I could go for one right now...
Damn, that was one freakin' tasty cheesecake!

~thankstotheurbandictionary

*This was in Rachael Ray's magazine....the only addition I did differently was I used 1/3 fat cream cheese and I put orange zest all over the top of mine. See the recipe here:
http://recipesschmecipes.blogspot.com/

Milk Candy d.b.a. Dulce de Leche

Here is what your sweetened condensed milk should look like after a 3 hour simmer. Yes, caramel heaven.......This is a very easy process and produces a high quality product. The only store bought dulce de leche I have purchased is through Williams Sonoma and it costs 18 smackers for the jar. Now I don't know about you, but I can make a whole hell of a lot more on my own for that price. Don't go out and buy any of that smuckers bullsh*t.....that is not dulce de leche. It is flavored and dyed chemicals in a plastic container. It is not thick. Your dulce should be thick and spreadible. I make a killer homemade ice cream w/this stuff. You can also refrigerate it for a few days until you are ready to use it......out of the can of course and you can also freeze it in a ziploc container....I have done so. So saddle up your deepest widest pan and plop in a couple of sweetened condensed milks and simmer away....use some and freeze some. You won't be sorry. Hopefully I will remember to take pics of the cheesecake when I am done.

Dislcaimer: No eyes or diks were hurt during the filming of this blog.

Always remember, if at anytime someone wants one of my recipes just email me. I have 2 small kids and only have time to type the basic blog. I am not going to take the time to post recipes unless someone actually wants it.

Oooh La-La, Milk Candy Cheesecake

Dulce de leche in Spanish or doce de leite in Portuguese ("milk candy"), is a milk-based syrup. Found as both a sauce and a caramel-like candy, it is popular across Latin America. It is prepared by slowly heating sweetened milk to create a product similar in taste to caramel.





I have always made my own Dulce de Leche. It is quite simple. Take cans of sweetened condensed milk, tear off paper, submerse in water, bring up to a simmer and simmer for 3 hours. I find this process works the best. I have tried others and was not impressed. I know what everyone says "Don't do that the can will explode".....well, my can has never exploded and hopefully I am not jinxing myself by writing this. I have always thought that the cans that exploded on other Forons (food morons) is because they took to boiling the hell out of the can instead of keeping it at a minimal simmer.....trust me this is all you need, you don't have to beat it like a red headed step-child. I know, I know, just like mom used to say "It is all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye with a dik, er, I mean stick, yeah, I think it is stick"....I always mess that one up. Anyway, Me and my milk have hunkered down for a long simmer tonight and hopefully we will be producing a Dulce de Leche cheesecake this weekend at some point. Wish Me Luck!

It is going to be a long night.......pull up a chair and have an espresso brownie.

Mmmm Good or Weird Food Fetish????

I purrrsonally did not think there was anyway to ghetto-ize Nutella but our flatlander friends from Ohio have done so. If you are Italian you may want to cover your eyes during this posting. At first I was concerned, skeptical, a little nauseated. How could this be??? How could someone violate an oreo in this manner. I almost felt as though I was watching a snuff film.....I felt dirty and disgusted. It was a train wreck situation where you want to turn away but you can't help but look or eat in this situation. Yes, I am talking about dunking oreo's IN nutella. I apologize for this post.....I realize this is an uncommon siutation. I mean oreo's are not meant to be phucked with in any shape or form. The only allowable anhilation for an oreo is the swirl, lik and dunk. SWIRL, LIK, DUNK PEOPLE!!!! Swirl off the chocolatey lid, lick the creamy white center and then dunk in milk. There is NO OTHER WAY......or is there??? My dude, Joey, violated an oreo right in front of my eyes......he didn't swirl or lik but he dunked......oh my he dunked....he dunked into a jar of nutella and proceeded to stick the whole oreo in his mouth like he was consuming a piece of sushi. I was horrified....but intrigued at the same time. I felt all squishy inside but at the same time I knew this was SO WRONG. After all the jeering and prodding, I gave in like a prisoner after chinese water torture and munched a nutella oreo. I won't say I loved it, but it was tasty. I will file it under 11:30 am pantry raid desperation. I still think SWIRL, LIK, DUNK IS THE ONLY WAY TO EAT AN OREO. Nice try Joey!

Nutella Addendum:VERY IMPORTANT DETAIL….you have to put the Oreo in “Nutella tongue side down” and push the Nutella forward to cover the entire bottom of the Oreo” before eating!

More to Come............

Okay, so it WAS a fun filled food week w/friends. I have some pictures but plenty to blog about. It will be coming in spurts over the next week.......it may amuse you, make you belly laugh, cry, want to kick your dog, have disgust or disdain for the blogger, or perhaps even divorce your spouse but whatever emotions my writings may spur, may the Life, Liberty and Pursuit for Ho Ho's never leave your sight and may all your Marshmallow Peeps be Stale!

Driver Blames Speeding on Poorly Dunked Oreo

If I didn't know better I would have thought this was my husband..................

He lost control of his BMW while fishing out cookie he lost in a cup of milk

SALISBURY, Conn. - Police say a man's excuse for speeding through a small Connecticut town takes the cake, or at least the cookie.

A state trooper who stopped the 1993 BMW last fall says its driver, 28-year-old Justin Vonkummer of Millerton, N.Y., blamed his driving problems on an errant Oreo.

Vonkummer told the trooper that an Oreo had slipped out of his hand as he dunked it in a cup of milk, and that he was trying to fish it out when he lost control of his car.

Prosecutors learned in court last week that a clerk had mistakenly noted in court records that Vonkummer had been charged with driving under the influence, rather than speeding and driving with a suspended license.

~per msnbc world news

Still Alive

I am STILL alive but I have visitors this week. I have been cooking and taking pictures and will upload as soon as I have some breathing room. Not that they are all that exciting but the rest of you must have a more boring life than my own if you are awaiting my posts HAHAHAHAHA J/K.........SEE YOUR AUNTS POST ANNE!

Eggs on Rye

A common saying in modern day Alaska is "eggs on rye" which is an expression used when something tastes delicious. These lil'artisan loaves speak for themselves. They turned out quite well and very tasty. Of course we had pastrami/swiss/sauerkraut paninis on them.

Carpet Slipper

Instead of a Brazillian Butt Implant my cheaper recommendation is to either get Brioche Assssss or Ciabatta Assssss. Either works well. My favorite bread hands down is Ciabatta.....I love making paninis out of it. But there is nothing like a bottle of olive oil and a loaf of ciabatta and yourself......standing at the island in your kitchen. Ripping off hunks of ciabatta and then drizzling with some really good EVOO. Of course, if you are standing at your island it doesn't really count because you are not sitting down to eat *wink wink*....if you know what I mean. I keep forging forward with trying to make bread on my BGE. I keep failing miserably. I went through 4 ciabatta the other day. This is what ciabatta is supposed to look like........from Carpet Slipper:



To Carpet Muncher:


*Disclaimer: MANY ciabatta were either maimed or killed during the filming of this blog.

Just in case you didn't know:Ciabatta (literally, carpet slipper because of its shape), pronounced correctly IPA: cha-BAT-ta, but often in English IPA: see-a-BAT-a,[citation needed] is an Italian white bread made with wheat flour and yeast. The loaf is somewhat elongated, broad and flattish and, like a slipper, should be somewhat collapsed in the middle. ~per wikipedia

Almond Chocolate Chip Cookies

These are Giada De Laurentiis' Almond Chocolate Chip Cookies. These cookies consistently turn out great!

Brioche Update

Okay, so get this......I bake off another one of these Almond Brioche "Bostock". My hubby takes it into work. He comes home and says: the guys said that was the best BUNDT CAKE they have ever had. Bundt Cake??? Does it look like a friggin BUNDT CAKE??? There is no way in HELL it tastes like a FRIGGIN BUNDT CAKE. Next time I hock a loogie and send in "no bakes"........the ungrateful bastards. It may have been a compliment but it was NO BUNDT CAKE.

Moo Moo Salads

Moo Moo Salad: Beef Tournedos, spinach, cranberries, toasted pecans, sweet potato fries, hard boiled eggs, cucumber and poppy seed dressing.


Moo Moo Salad 2: Beef Tournedos, red leaf/romaine lettuce, sundried tomato fries, cucumber, hard boiled egg, cucumber, cheddar and santa fe vinaigrette.

Dislcaimer: No sweet potatoes were injured or killed during the filming of this blog.

Tournedos is one of the many French food names and cooking terms that have been carried over into English directly, such as foie gras, bouquet garni, génoise, etc. The exhaustive Larousse Gastronomique says you can consider the tournedos to be a small, round slice taken from near the end of the tenderloin, which is normally sautéed or grilled. In common usage, any part of the tenderloin is apt to be called tournedos on a restaurant menu.

The Coffee Poser Steee-Rikes AGAIN

I am embarassed to say that one of those creamers actually says "White Chocolate Mudslide" and the other is "French Vanilla". Should I be worried that these belong to a grown man???? Perhaps this a question for a therapist. I guess I should be glad he is going to the fridge for his "International Delight" and not the "Emperor's Club". No one really knows what goes on behind closed fridge doors.

Eggceptional Eggstravaganza

Him: Hey Honey, can I help you with anything??
Me: Nah....oh yeah, go ahead and peel the hard boiled eggs for the steak salads.
Him: hmmm, grabs an egg, tap tap, crack crack crack, tap tap, peel pick peel pick pick pick pick pick *10 minutes goes by*.....water is running....finally the first egg is born.
Me: uh, you aren't done yet.
Him: uh, which do you think peels an egg faster....warm or cold water???
Me: why are you using water?
Him: tap tap tap......crack..........peels egg under warm running water.....finally after another 10 minutes egg #2 is born.
Me: uh, you gonna be done sometime this century??
Him: well you gave me the hardest job in the kitchen.
Me: ARE YOU FRICKIN SERIOUS???? You run a 550+ person facility and YOU are telling ME that peeling 4 hard boiled eggs is the hardest job I could have given you in the kitchen??????? Puhleaze, let us NOT go there.
Him: tap tap tap tap tap tap, crack, crack, crack, tap, tap, tap

He's no Eliot Spitzer BUT he IS mine.......................................

More To Come.............

I am carbo'ed out. Each ass cheek at this point has to look like a loaf of brioche. It sure feels like it after this weekend. I have a nasty case of brioche'assssssss.

So Much Time and So Little To Do (Strike that and Reverse it)

So Much Time and So Little To Do.......Strike That and Reverse It~Willy Wonka
BRIOCHE
The doomed Marie Antionette is often quoted as saying "qu'ils mangent de la brioche," which means "let them eat brioche," not "let them eat cake (gaiteau)"!~artisan bread in 5 minutes a day

Several days ago I prepared a Brioche recipe from the book Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day. The recipe makes four 1-lb. loaves. I finally got around to using it Friday night. This is what became of the dough:



This is what is known as Almond Brioche "Bostock". It is a combination of buttery brioche, almond cream and orange zest-infused sugar. HOLY FRICKIN FRIJOLES is all I have to say. Life is Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!!

Then today I used another pound of the dough for this:

This is a Brioche Loaf FILLED WITH CHOCOLATE GANACHE

~As Fred Sanford would say "I'm Coming Elizabeth, I'm Coming"

I still have 1 1/2 lb. of the dough left to which I will make another "Bostock" and send it into work w/my hubster on Monday for his peeps.

Ham and Italian Bean Soup
On Friday, This:
Became This:
Which in turn, became this: It was one of those DUMB ASS moments.........don't even ask. All is good though. The soup was saved. Really good too. I used a combination of both chicken and beef stock and white wine, carrot, celery, shallot, bay leaf, thyme, garlic, dried Italian beans and a spiral sliced ham. Let's just say I need a new crockpot.

Tonight was Chicken Quesadillas on the BGE



Rotisserie white wine/herb pulled chicken, roasted red/yellow/jalapeno peppers, black beans, corn, cotija and cheddar cheese on sundried tomato/spinach tortillas, topped off with shredded romaine lettuce and a homemade salsa of diced pineapple, corn and black beans tossed in a mango vinaigrette.

THERE WAS AN OLD LADY WHO ATE A HORSE.........SHE'S FULL OF COURSE!!!!

Capeo and Cirque

Last night was date night..........we haven't had one of those in.....well I can't remember the last one. It has been some weeks. Went to Cirque Du Soleil Satimbanco http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/ . We also stopped at Ristorante Capeo
http://www.capeo.us/ down the street from the Alltell Arena. We had a spot right in the front of the restaurant in the nook right by the big window facing the street. We were able to people watch which is always fun.......especially when it is COLD and WINDY and calling for a winter storm warning in the south. Dinner was ok for the price. It should have been a lot better. I wouldn't go back. I had:
FRIED FISH
Calamari, Shrimp and Scallops dusted with Flour, fried crisp, and
Drizzled with Balsamic Vinegar
SPAGHETTI CARBONARA
An ancient Roman recipe. This Creamy Spaghetti dish is made with Egg,
Pancetta and Pecorino Cheese
HOUSE SALAD
Mixed Greens with Tomato and Onion tossed with a sweet

The Mr. Had:
THE HUNTER
A variety of sliced Italian meats served with the Chef’s
Own Grilled Italian Sausage accompanied with Condiments
PESTO ALLA CÁPEO
Chestnut Pasta, Broccoli and Potatoes laced with Pesto (a combination of
Basil, Pine Nuts and Parmigiano Reggiano)
Tuscan White Bean Soup
Then we shared a Tiramisu, which was the best part of the meal.

I Am A Marxine

This was forwarded to me from my Aunt Mary Lou. I in NO WAY take credit for this but thought it was hysterical. Since it deals w/the very source of what I talk about I had to post it.

*Martha's Way* Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
*Maxine's Way * Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

*Martha's Way*To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
*Maxine's Way*Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix , keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

*Martha's Way*When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
*Maxine's Way*Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

*Martha's Way*If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
*Maxine's Way*If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

*Martha's Way*Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
*Maxine's Way*Celery? Never heard of it!

*Martha's Way*Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
*Maxine's Way*The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

*Martha's Way*Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
*Maxine's Way*Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

*Martha's Way*If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
*Maxine's Way*Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

*Martha's Way*Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
*Maxine's Way*Leftover wine??????????? HELLLLLOOOOO !!!!!!!

WTF

And what is up with this???? People that call themselves vegetarians but still eat chicken or seafood. I guess if a shrimp doesn't scream it doesn't count???? Do you eat 5 shrimps or 5 shrimp....I guess it is the same a 1 deer or 25 deer or 1 fish or 100 fish. I don't know about you but I am bucking the system and I next time I am ordering 6 shrimps. Who decided there was no sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

A Picture Tale of Vegetarian Enchiladas~Pulp Fiction Style